There’s a time that comes when you realize that when you give your time, energy, and attention to others for their success, you end up empty-handed.
I know this because I lived it myself, twice, and I see it with my clients every day. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help others and contribute to their wellbeing, it’s the motive behind why we do it that matters. Many do it for different reasons.
Regardless of the motive, we end up on the losing end.
I did that with a 19-year relationship and again for 3 years with a man I was dating. Yes, I had a major impact on their lives. And I saw it especially with the man I dated. His life changed completely- because he wanted to. He was open and saw he could be happy. He never took advantage of me, I was the one giving in hopes of being special for someone. The thing is when we overgive with a hidden motive of being loved or feeling special, it never comes. We are looking to fill a void inside with something on the outside and that never brings fulfillment. No one and nothing can fill a void except yourself.
When I realized I had given him everything, time, energy, love, and I was still in the same place and he had evolved, everything changed.
I realized I wasn’t losing anything, I was gaining my freedom!
I always thought that if I wasn’t giving others what they wanted, I would lose their love or acceptance or I would not feel important. Turns out that making them more important than me made me feel empty and a prisoner of their happiness.
I turned all that energy, time, and love towards myself and left. It took all the courage I could gather to change my life but I couldn’t stay in a place where I wasn’t satisfied. The journey to putting myself first started.
When you stop making others more important than you, you have so much energy, you feel good about yourself, you feel strong, and have a clear mind. Now, THAT is total freedom!
My suggestion to you is to look at yourself with honesty. Become aware of when and why you could be making others a priority. Here are questions to ask yourself:
Where are you trying to please?
What do you do in hopes of being recognized or feel important?
What can you do to give yourself what YOU need instead of looking on the outside to fill you up?
If you need guidance on this journey of self-discovery, book your discovery call here, it’s time to put yourself FIRST.