I remember taking stock of my life not long ago, asking myself where I was at and where I wanted to go. I had been feeling out of alignment so I had to take a deep-dive inwards with honesty because the impact of the “out of alignment” could be felt in every aspect of my life. In my work I was not fully committed and focused to making things move to where I wanted them to go. In my social life I was barely involved with my friends. And in my love life, I wanted commitment and wasn’t getting it.
The truth was that my love life was impacting every other area. I was obsessed with my relationship and I wasn’t honest with myself… I didn’t want to accept the truth, I was hoping my partner would choose me and commit to the relationship at a deeper level. I clearly had something to look at.
The reality was that I was living in hope and illusion. I was hoping he would change for me and the illusion was me thinking things would get better and I wouldn’t get hurt. What I was really doing was putting my happiness in the hands of someone else…
In all honesty, I was letting myself down.
To honour myself, I had to own the truth… but what can someone gain from living in illusion, hope? (because the truth is that there is a gain, otherwise we would not do it…)
I personally gained immediate gratification.
Let’s be honest, in the moment, it feels good, it’s not too much effort and there is a high that comes from it. The immediate gratification from the deep and intense connection present between us was way too good to let go.
So how do we get out of obsession and immediate gratification?
By choosing ourselves. I had to come back to what was truly important to me: ME.
To live the happiness and freedom I wanted to live, I had to take back control of my life and that began with not putting my happiness and freedom in the hands of hope and illusion.
By choosing ME and what was important to me I was able to free myself from the obsession that took me out of alignment in the first place. And choosing ME started with owning my truth about immediate gratification and choosing how I wanted to move forward from that point on.
Owning my truth was hard, I will be honest here, I was disgusted about my truth. I couldn’t believe I had given away my power to immediate gratification. If I wanted to move forward, I had to make peace with it. I knew it was exactly what I wanted at that time and now it wasn’t serving me anymore. It was time to change. I realized that in order to change, I didn’t need to be drastic. I simply had to look at the motive and if I changed my motive, my experience would change.
By choosing ME, my motive changed instantly.
I had nothing to fill anymore. No more void or “neediness”. Choosing myself filled that part. So now, I could be in this relationship without looking for something from him or the relationship. I can exchange instead of taking. I can accept all of him exactly how he is and where he is at. I also know that if at one point commitment is important to me and I can’t have it with him, I will remove myself from the relationship in order to honour what I truly want. I will not let myself down.
I invite you to “take a deep-dive inwards with honesty” and look at where you could be out of alignment.
If you need help getting out of the story to see the reality of what is really going on deep inside, reach out, it is my expertise. Click here for your free 30-minute discovery call.
See you on the other side,