Time For a New Life Strategy

We never get what we truly want in life by playing with faulty strategies…

“Life is a game that cannot be won or lost, only played”.

This in my favourite life principle, but it was only recently that I realized the unsaid key in this saying is that life is a game that has to be played consciously. 

All too often, we play the game of life completely unconsciously because we don’t realize how much we are influenced by conditionings and ways of being that were passed down and/or imposed on us.

Because it is not obvious to us that at any time we can choose to not adhere to those ways of being, we compensate by developing different strategies to cope with life. We use unconscious strategies like blame, avoidance, manipulation and even “pretending” in our quest to “find happiness”.

The truth of the matter is that we’ll never get, live, feel or experience what we want in our lives as long as we continue to play the game of life with these faulty strategies.

It’s easy for us to make up stories and believe them to the point of manipulating and convincing others that we are playing consciously, when we are not.

I know this all too well, I played the ‘pretending game’ for a while. I pretended to be happy in my relationship. I pretended to be strong and confident, but the reality was that I feared being alone and not being important to someone.

Now, the big question is: How do you know when you are playing UNconsciously? And how do you stop?

The answer is simple…

Be honest with yourself by following your feelings.

The stress, confusion, anguish, fear, mental and/or emotional chaos you feel are pointing you in the direction of what needs healing or alignment. They are signs that you are not being honest with yourself or what you truly want for yourself.

This is what playing the game of life unconsciously is and it comes from the stories you tell yourself (and others) to make you believe that it’s not your responsibility. 

In my case, my fear was pushing me to look at the deep wound I had of “not being special enough”. It was my responsibility to make myself feel special, not the responsibility of someone else.

But to get to that understanding, I had to first be honest with myself about my pain. 

It was only after being honest that I was able to identify the source and heal it. And ultimately, start playing the game of life consciously again.

Being honest with what you want and where you are at will stop unconscious play in its tracks because it allows you to take responsibility, face your deepest fears and look at the truth. 

Here are some examples of questions you can ask yourself:

1. If you fear losing someone — what are you really afraid of? 
2. If you fear getting hurt — what do you really fear experiencing?
3. If you find yourself pretending — what part of yourself are you not honouring?
4. If you find yourself blaming  someone or something — what don’t you want to see about yourself?

Life is a game that cannot be won or lost, only played… consciously.  How ready are you to start playing the game right?

See you on the other side,

Julie Anne

P.S. Becoming aware of your unconscious tactics can be tricky and scary. If you need guidance identifying them and understanding them so you can step into your personal power, book your one-on-one discovery session HERE.