The Complexity of the Virtue Honesty
I am at a point in my life where I choose to live authentically, in full integrity and with all honesty. When you read this, it sounds really nice, it looks like the quotes that we see on Facebook or Instagram that inspire and empower people to live “in a new way”.
But what does it really take to live by these words as a way of being…?
Be honest.
You might think we are living by them but you do not realize to what point you may tell little white lies… or how often you may tell yourself “if I don’t tell anyone what happened (or what I believe or what I think), no one will know and I can get away with XYZ”…
The reality of living with authenticity, integrity and honesty is far more complex and challenging than what the quotes on social media will lead you to believe…
Every January I choose a word to live by and this year, my word is Honesty. From all the words I chose in the last 9 years, this is by far the most challenging word to live by. It is not just about being honest with others about what I do or say, it is more about being honest with MYSELF about my deep underlying motives about why I do what I do. Why I choose to put myself in certain situations or circumstances. What am I gaining from it? It is about owning my motives and not having judgment towards them.
Understanding the deep underlying motives allows me to see where I am heading… and sometimes, it is not really where I want to go… but the immediate gratification is very tempting…
What I am discovering about the power of honesty is that it gives me a clear choice to either keep doing what I am doing and owning it (meaning owning the consequences or results) from a place of power versus shame or guilt or choose to stop the behavior and change it, again from a place of personal power.
Sometimes it can be hard to be honest with oneself and see the truth. We can get so caught up in our stories, our emotions or even wrapped up in a deep wound. BEING HONEST WITH OURSELVES MEANS FACING THE TRUTH ABOUT OURSELVES and that can be hard to see and accept.
It takes a strong and courageous person to live by the virtue of honesty.
That is why I believe we all need a coach, mentor, or some kind of guide to help us walk this path of transformation. Living by strong virtues like honesty, authenticity and integrity can be intense, but let me tell you, once integrated, you will live life with such clarity and confidence, which will allow you to experience inner peace and freedom and that is PRICELESS.
