From Overgiving to Inner Worth: How I Stopped Fighting to Be Loved

Since I was little, I thought my worth had to be earned.

At a young age, I learnt that I had to fight for my place, prove my value, and give more than I had—just to be chosen.

At the time, I didn’t see or even understand the cost. But looking back, those old ways of being were quietly taking my peace away, draining my energy, and leaving me with a deep emptiness I couldn’t explain.

The Hidden Cost of Chasing Love and Approval

I put what mattered most to me on the back burner—my kids, my career, my own needs—because I was desperate for someone to say, “You’re the one.” 

I over-delivered in relationships and in my work. I poured myself out for others before I even thought about giving to myself or my children. And yes, everyone benefitted from my overgiving… except me.

No matter how much I gave, I rarely received even a fraction of that love, care, or recognition in return.

One day, I hit my limit. The pain of always chasing, always proving, always fighting for my spot—whether in love, work, or life—became unbearable.

The Wake-Up Call

I realized I wasn’t poor in money… I was poor in love, in real connection and in true joy.

From the outside, my relationships looked fine, but inside they were hollow.

Even after all the inner work I had done, I still felt that ache in my heart, that emptiness… Why?

Because I wasn’t nourishing what truly mattered to me. I was too busy running after love, approval, and opportunities—trying to prove my worth instead of living it.

That moment of clarity became my turning point. One morning, I caught myself waiting—waiting for a sign that he wanted to see me, waiting to be chosen. I was bawling my eyes out because I felt rejected, unseen, and not chosen. That’s when I knew: this wasn’t empowerment, this was self-abandonment. If I wanted freedom and the life I truly desired, I had to stop waiting to be chosen and begin choosing myself.

The Truth About Overgiving

Through my healing, I saw something I had never understood before: many of the people I had been giving to couldn’t give me what I needed—not because they didn’t want to, but because they were carrying their own wounds.

And my constant chasing, proving, and overgiving wasn’t creating closeness—it was creating emptiness.

The real shift happened when I stopped.

When I stopped running after people.

When I stopped proving my worth with my work or in love.

When I sat with myself, even when it was uncomfortable, and let the pain move through me.

I learned that chasing cost me my peace. And people-pleasing cost me my happiness.

Turning Inward

Instead of looking outward for someone else to fill the void, I began asking myself:

What is going on inside? What do I need right now?

I listened and then, I gave it to myself.

Yes, it meant many days alone, away from the noise of other people’s needs. But in that space, I discovered something life-changing—joy in the present moment.

I learned to have fun on my own.

To be present in the now and to live from that space.

To see that, in this moment, I already have everything I need.

And when emotions came up, I let them flow through me instead of holding them in or letting them ruin my day.

Living in Alignment

Today, I live differently.

I stay present instead of spinning in stories in my mind.

I check in with myself: Are my actions aligned with what I think and feel, or am I slipping back into old patterns?

If something feels out of alignment, I take the time to understand it, heal it and  release it.

I’ve learned that real worth isn’t earned by overgiving or compromising—it’s felt when you show up for yourself first.

If you’ve been chasing love, recognition, or approval, or anything else, here’s what I want you to know:

Your worth doesn’t come from what you give to others. It comes from the love and presence you give to yourself.

When you stop fighting to be chosen and start choosing yourself, everything changes.

How You Can Work With Me

This is the work I now guide others through. In my 1:1 mentorship sessions, I help you break free from old patterns, heal the wounds that keep you stuck, and rewire your subconscious so you can finally live aligned with your true self.

Book a 1:1 session with me and let’s create the shift you’ve been waiting for.
 👉 Click here to book your session now

I bridge spirituality and practical tools, helping you release the past and step into a life of joy, freedom, and abundance.

Email me directly if you have questions: [email protected] 

See you on the other side,

Julie Anne