People often find change very hard to move through. And it’s true, it is hard!!! We hang on to what we know and what feels secure. I am the first to hang on to what I know, what is comfortable and what brings security (or brings the illusion of security!). On top of everything, I am very stubborn.
Everything changed for me when I understood that change is not only about what we’re letting go of but more what we’re saying yes to. We are so focused on our pain and wounds, that all we can think about is what we are leaving behind. We often forget to focus on what we want or what we are creating. It’s not that I am saying to ignore your feelings, I never recommend that! What I am saying is to acknowledge and honor how you feel but don’t let it consume you. It’s OK to feel sad and hurt but if you focus on that, it is exactly what you will experience and there can be no limit to it if you don’t stop yourself.
I learned the hard way to have the discipline and structure to focus my thoughts on what is ahead. I had my mentor and a coach holding me accountable for my daily thoughts and focus for 30 days because I was so stubborn and only focused on what I was leaving behind!!! When I say I am stubborn, I am stubborn!!
This process taught me a lot. Here’s what I found, when the focus changes and you experience the shift, there is a “click” that happens inside and all of a sudden, what you are saying YES to is revealed. You can SEE what you are moving towards and can FEEL what is ahead. It is motivating and inspiring. But first - there is a but - you must CHOOSE to say YES to what is ahead. No one can do it for you.
Learn to focus your thoughts and honor how you feel. This may require help and guidance but it is something you can do.